To Your Success Part 4 "Loneliness"

Inspirational quote for today is: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" ~ Philippians 4:13. A life that produces the fruit of the Holy Spirit is attractive. “The fruit of spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” ~ Galatians 5:22-23 (NASB). You see when we implement these and similar attitudes it cause others to want to be with us. On the other hand, a judgmental attitude drives others away. I believe love is probably the cure for any emotional problem, including loneliness. In the book of Ephesians, the apostle Paul prayed, “so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God” ~ Ephesians 3:17-19 (NASB). I believe when we receive the love God imparts it’s not only an outstanding cure for loneliness, but giving love can also be a cure for loneliness. As Solomon recorded, “The generous man will be prosperous, and he waters himself be watered” ~ Proverbs 11:25 (NASB). Furthermore, when we have the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives not only does it produce a positive attitude in you and the ability to love others, but it also produces peace and joy. As God’s children, we can definitely be secured our relationship with him. For example, in order for a baby to grow up without loneliness and mental health, research shows that the child must feel that his/her parents will never forsake him/her and that he/she will always belong to them. You see we as God’s children need to continually remind ourselves of the security of belonging to him. Christ stated: “Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in me. In my father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to myself, that where I am, there you may be also”~ John 14:1-3 (NASB). In closing, we will belong to God for an eternity-never to be lonely again. I trust you enjoy reading this blog, and I pray that it helps you as you begin to change your life and achieve great success. This is the beginning of a journey that never ends. I will present Part 5 at a later time. Talk to you soon, Gary R. Johnson.

To Your Success Part 3 "Loneliness"

Inspirational quote for today is: "Always remember this, fear is a habit; so is self-pity, defeat, anxiety, despair, discouragement, and resignation. You can eliminate all of these negative habits by saying I can and I will". ~ Gary R. Johnson Focus on these Three Spiritual Principles- Here is the three key spiritual principles to a meaningful and complete life: 1.) Always walk close with God. The reason is because it gives life meaning, 2.) Also, a life that produces the fruit of the Holy Spirit is attractive, and 3.) Furthermore, as God’s children, we can definitely be secured in our relationship with him. You see a close walk with God gives our life meaning. This is a very important key to the answer to loneliness. As it states, in First Samuel 30 tells the story of David returning home from war to find out the women and children had been taken captive by the enemy. In addition, David found himself in a lonely position because all of his soldiers turned against him. “Moreover, David was greatly distressed because the people spoke of stoning him, for all the people were embittered, each one because of his sons and his daughters. But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God” ~ 1 Samuel 30:6 (NASB). In John 16:32 (NASB) it explains how Christ found comfort in his Father’s presence: “Behold, an hour is coming, and has already come, for you to be scattered, each to his own home, and to leave me alone; and yet I am not alone because the father is with me”. I recall a friend of mine sister who had committed suicide and who not known her father. My friend found comfort in this verse, which illustrates this point well: “Though my mother and father forsake me, the Lord will receive me” ~ Psalm 27:10 (NIV). I believe truly the most basic step in overcoming loneliness is a close walk with God through our daily time spent with Christ. Always remember God loves us and longs to walk with us during our lonely times. I trust you enjoy reading this blog, and I pray that it helps you as you begin to change your life and achieve great success. This is the beginning of a journey that never ends. I will present Part 4 at a later time. Talk to you soon, Gary R. Johnson.

To Your Success Part 2 "Loneliness"

Inspirational quote for today is: "No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you". ~ Joshua 1:5 Becomes more Active- You see when we become more physically, mentally, and spiritually active this may help you overcome loneliness. In addition, loneliness at times can come from internal issues, and this principle may seem superficial at times, however, it’s certainly a good starting point because when we initiate specific behaviors this may help us to begin altering lonely feelings. Since some feelings which we have (little immediate control over) may follow specific behavior in which (we have maximum control over), one thing that helped me along this journey and it was focusing on a new behavior. I use to ask myself all the time what will I do today to feel less lonely. Once I started to understand this concept I started to repeat a specific behavior everyday. Furthermore, this suggestion may seem inadequate by it self but it’s a beginning for finding your way out of loneliness. Try to be more involved with Other People- There are so many places you can turn to today for support. I’m not necessarily recommending these, since I don’t know many of them personally, however, this list may be generally helpful. Here are a few examples: 1.) your local church and its support groups, 3.) Conferences, 4.) Discipleship ministries and 5.) Conflict resolution. I trust you enjoy reading this blog, and I pray that it helps you as you begin to change your life and achieve great success. This is the beginning of a journey that never ends. I will present Part 3 at a later time. Talk to you soon, Gary R. Johnson.

To Your Success Part 1 "Loneliness"

Inspirational quote for today is: “You weren't an accident. You weren't mass produced. You aren't an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on the earth by the Master Craftsman.” ~ Max Lucado In this series of the Mind, Body, and Soul I’m going to talk about loneliness. Did you know there are many symptoms of loneliness? Some symptoms of loneliness are obvious, and some are more disguised. You see loneliness can be described as a state of not feeling accepted in a group or of not belonging. Also, loneliness may involve emotional pain, an empty feeling on the inside, or restlessness. In addition, loneliness is a very common experience for millions of Americans. This is also the reason for single bars, encounter groups, drug experiences, free sex, and certain Eastern religions that are so popular today in which so many have turned to overcome their loneliness. You see loneliness is also a problem with the elderly, who often escape their loneliness through suicide. However, loneliness strikes everyone from all ages and all classes. Even the great king and leader of God’s people David felt lonely. As David wrote in the book of Psalm “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Look upon my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins”. ~ Psalm 25:16-18 (NASB). In my own personal experiences in dealing with loneliness I had to learn in order to overcome this problem I had to admit that it was a real problem for me. Second, I had to learn how to make choices that can enable me to truly overcome it. Here are a few steps to help you overcome loneliness. Oh by the way, these are steps I’ve used personally to help me with this problem. Overcoming Loneliness Determine why you’re feeling loneliness- There are many causes on why we have lonely feelings, and experiences that make one person lonely, however, may not affect another in the same way. Here are some reasons for loneliness: Being rejected by other people- You may have experienced this type of loneliness because you have been rejected by others-for example, a spouse, friend, business associate, or others. Often this type of rejection is totally unfair. As a result, it hurts and leaves a feeling of loneliness. Lack of affection while we were growing up- In our culture today, people divorce; parents are busy, especially fathers; and children are left lonely. You see children have tremendous dependency needs. If these needs are not met in their youth years, an emotional vacuum is created and may be very difficult to fill. I remember a couple years ago when I was coaching pop Warner football and one of my players was thinking about committing suicide. As I talked with him more about God and giving him the unconditional he needed, he seemed so happy to have my attention, even for a brief period of time. I asked him why he felt so lonely. He told me he had been very lonely because his father was seldom at home. Rejecting others yourself- In some cases people are lonely because they have rejected others. The reason is because fear of rejection, shyness, an inferiority complex, and many other reasons why a person would choose to be lonely rather than reaching out to develop friendships. As a result, an individual may decide to reject others before others have the opportunity to reject them. Isolating ourselves from God- There is definitely a God vacuum in each of us. We may deny it, we may try to fight it, but we can’t fill the lonely void that only Jesus Christ can fill. You see Christians can to some degree experience this isolation from God as a result of breaking fellowship with him through sin. Even people like Adam and Eve, and David experienced that loneliness. Some Christians experience this loneliness as a result of a break in their fellowship with God. I trust you enjoy reading this blog, and I pray that it helps you as you begin to change your life and achieve great success. This is the beginning of a journey that never ends. I will present Part 2 at a later time. Talk to you soon, Gary R. Johnson.

To Your Success Part 6 "Mind, Body, and Soul"

Inspirational quote for today is: "The life of inner peace, being harmonious and without stress, is the easiest type of existence." ~Norman Vincent Peale Overcoming Stress Here are a few steps to help you overcome stress. Oh by the way, these are methods I used personally to help me overcome stress. Here are some examples: 1.)Changing Your Perception through Scriptures- Throughout, my journey in dealing with stress I learned perception is everything when it comes to stress. However, the scriptures were written to alter our perception. Although, it’s possible to be under stress and not yet distressed. “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.” ~ 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (NASB) Here are a couple of common perceptions versus the reality of the Scriptures. 1.) Common Perception: There is no hope for me in the situation I’m in. Reality of the Scriptures: “Behold, I am the lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for me?” ~ Jeremiah 32:27 (NASB), “The lord has established his throne in the heavens, and his sovereignty rules over all.” ~ Psalm 103:19 (NASB) 2.) Common Perception: These stressors will never go away. Reality of the Scriptures: “Be gracious to me, O God; be gracious to me, for my soul takes refuge in you; and in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge until destruction passes by. ~ Psalm 57:1 (NASB). 2.) You must Develop a Fighting Spirit- Throughout my weight loss journey I had to learn how to develop a fighting spirit or the attitude of “I will beat this thing.” By doing so, I was able to survive the physical and emotional stress. I remember a couple of years ago, one my elders at church to me to always pray to God but make sure I row to shore. In other words, God will help you, but we must do our part and keep fighting. As it states, in the book of Nehemiah “But we prayed to our God, and because of them we set up a guard against them day and night.” When I saw their fear, I rose and spoke to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people: “Do not be afraid of them; remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives and your houses”. ~ Nehemiah 4:9, and 14 (NASB) Indeed, we must continue to keep fighting. You see God wants us to have a fighting spirit so we are able to combat the effect of the stressors in our life. How much fighting spirit you think you can muster with God’s help? 3.) Learn how to Alter Your Lifestyle- I remember when I use to live a high-stress lifestyle. One thing I learned along the way to changing this lifestyle; and that was altering my lifestyle. By doing so, it helped me alleviate some of my stress. Here are some things you can do to help you alter your lifestyle. 1.) Get a different job, 2.) Go on a vacation, 3.) Move to the country, 4.) Avoid certain individuals, and 5.) Bring an end to some other ongoing stressor. Furthermore, it’s definitely worth making changes in your lifestyle if they mean you will have less stress. Conclusion- You see the world is filled many stressful people and events that can make you feel devastated. Furthermore, stress does not have to defeat you. There are several ways to gain insight to why you are having stress, memorize the scriptures, developing a fighting spirit, and altering your lifestyle. Most importantly, trust Christ to help you relieve a stressful life. I trust you enjoy reading this blog, and I pray that it helps you as you begin to change your life and achieve great success. This is the beginning of a journey that never ends. Stay tuned! I will be presenting a new series about "loneliness" . Talk to you soon, Gary R. Johnson

To Your Success Part 5 "Mind, Body, and Soul"

Inspirational quote for today is:“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”~ Nelson Mandela Emotional Effects When we deal with stress mentally, most of us develop defense mechanisms. These defense mechanisms can be either good or bad, just like the physical effects of stress can be good or bad. Here are few examples of these defense mechanisms that may be unhealthy. Unhealthy defense mechanisms Denial- This is when an individual refuses to believe that the stressors they’re undergoing are affecting them, even though to others you are depressed, anxious, worried, and having other mental or physical signs of stress. Passive/aggressive- In this defense mechanism you respond to stress in a passive way. For instance, you arrive late for appointments or through other behaviors act passively rather than straightforward. Controlling- You see individuals under stress may deal with it and the insecurity it fosters by becoming controlling to others. Even though, the others may have nothing to do with the immediate stress. Healthy defense mechanisms Anticipation- This is when we look forward to future, happy events, and is a simple healthy defense in times of stress. Laughter- I believe this is a wonderful defense because it releases as much tension as crying and is whole lot more fun. In addition, when women are asked what they enjoy most about a man, good sense of humor is usually very high on the list. You see having good humor releases those endorphins and enkephalins, which are our natural antidepressants. Forgiveness- Did you know bitterness can defile many? I didn’t know this myself until I read the book of Hebrews “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to causes trouble and defile many”. ~ Hebrews 12:15 (NIV) I also learned over the years, through forgiveness we can relieve a tremendous amount of stress. You see apparently we can control whether or not we let go of anger and forgive. As it states in Ephesians, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”. ~ Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV) Furthermore, I believe forgiveness may be one of the greatest defenses against stress. Faith- This defense mechanism of course, is more than a defense; it probably relieves stress better than anything else. The reason is because having faith in Christ, having faith in what he can do, having faith in the veracity of the Scriptures, having faith in God’s promises, and having faith for a wonderful future. Most importantly, faith is what brought us to Christ and faith is what allows us to live a Christian life, even if it is filled with stressors. Confession- One thing I’ve learned about confession; and that is guilt causes unbelievable stress. As it states, in the book of first John “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”. ~ 1 John: 9 (NASB) by doing so, it offers relief from any guilt the Christian may be facing. In addition, Christians are also encouraged to confess their sins with one another; this will help promote healing. In the book of James it talks about this information. >“Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much”. ` James 5:16 (NASB) Spiritual Effects Stress can also affect our spiritual life. Most importantly, it may cause us to lose a sense of the Lord’s presence and caring. For example, Elijah was an extremely godly man; however, under extreme stress Elijah lost his perspective and wanted to die. The reason is because he thought he was the only one left who loved the lord. I trust you enjoy reading this blog, and I pray that it helps you as you begin to change your life and achieve great success. This is the beginning of a journey that never ends. I will present Part 6 at a later time. Talk to you soon, Gary R. Johnson

To Your Success Part 4 "Mind, Body, and Soul"

Inspirational quote for today is: “Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.” ~ Japanese Proverb One thing I learned over the years about stress, and that is stress can be either good or bad. However, I also learned a little stress sounds an alarm we need to rise to meet a challenge. Also, in the scriptures it seems that stress can be good when there’s a realistic concern -“For I have no one else of kindred spirit who genuinely be concerned for your welfare”. ~ Philippians 2:20, and “Apart from such external things, there is the daily pressure on me of concern for all the churches”. ~ 2 Corinthians 11:28 (NASB), however, it’s not good when it causes unproductive worry and fretting (Philippians 4:6, Luke 8:14, and 1 Peter 5:7) (NASB). You see with a little stress your work productivity goes up, but too much stress can bring it down. It can also put demands on the body or mind- from emotional arousal, humiliation, pain, fatigue, success, failure, fear, and etc. Most importantly, these levels of stress relates to the environment and the person’s interpretation, evaluation, appraisal of meaning, and appraisal of his/her coping ability. There are also three effects of stress we face on a regular basis. They are as follows: 1.) emotional, 2.) physical, and 3.) Spiritual. Physical Effects When stress develops it can affect almost any organ of the body and is a factor in numerous diseases. In my own personal experience in dealing with stress I learned stress can altar our neurotransmitters of the brain with profound influences on the emotions and body. You see when we develop stress the body is either “fight or flight”. As a result, this reaction causes chemical changes that may have implications. In addition, when we encounter stress, we may develop corresponding behavioral changes, such as anger, exercising, drinking, smoking, binge eating, and etc. Furthermore, the nervous system balance is altered and the blood pressure increases (which, for some individuals, may trigger a heart attack), along with other physiological reactions. Moreover, after a stressful occurrence, the blood pressure may not go back down and may result in hypertension and acceleration of atherosclerosis. Also, because stress may alter the hippocampus (which controls our memory), continuation of stress may result in an inability to access information needed to decide that a situation maybe no longer a threat. Finally, stress can alter the neurotransmitters of the brain that controls our mood, logic, sleep, weight, attention, and pain perception. Under the physical implications of stress, there are other, secondary, conditions that people may experience: depression, eating issues, mood swings, obsessive worry, sleep problems, sexual issues, phobias, asthma attacks, high blood pressure, hair loss, outbreaks of skin problems, menstrual disorders, appearing older than age, and etc. Furthermore, these effects of stress vary, depending on what stage is the stress. I trust you enjoy reading this blog, and I pray that it helps you as you begin to change your life and achieve great success. This is the beginning of a journey that never ends. I will present Part 5 at a later time. Talk to you soon, Gary R. Johnson.

To Your Success Part 3 "MInd, Body, and Soul"

Inspirational quote for today is:"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change". ~ Wayne Dyer In this part of the Mind, Body, and Soul series I’m going to talk about stress. As you already know, this is one of biggest battlefields of the mind. I have a question for you. What is stress? You see stress is a close cousin to worry and anxiety. In addition, worry and anxiety are used to describe the internal fretting, whereas stress is the external factors causing the worry and anxiety. Overall, stress is a state of physical, mental, or emotional tension caused by these external conditions. I believe these top three stressors we all face in our lives. They are follows: 1.) relationship issues, 2.) financial, job, career issues, and 3.) loss issues. One thing I learned about in our response to stress and that is the way we interpret an event determines how we will respond psychologically, physiologically, behaviorally, and spiritually. For example, what may cause stress for me may not be stressful to another person because of how we use the interpretation or the cognitive appraisal of the events. For me personally when stress occurs I try to remember God’s word. “The lord is for me; I will not fear; what can man do for me? ` Psalm 118:6 (NASB); “He shall say to them, hear o Israel, you are approaching the battle against your enemies today. Do not be fainthearted. Do not be afraid, or panic, or tremble before them, for the lord your God is the one who goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies to save you.” ~ Deuteronomy 20:3-4 (NASB). In addition, when I read these verses not only do they strengthen me it helps my stress diminished. When my stress seemed out of control, Psalm 91:9-11 (NASB) had a very strong influence on my perception and resulting response: ”For you have made the lord, my refuge, even the most high, your dwelling place. No evil will befall you, nor will any plague come near your tent. For he will give his angels charge concerning you, To guard you in all your ways”. Furthermore, Psalm 23:4 (NASB) helped me fight the most potentially fearful event with a great perceptive “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me.” Moreover, what is stressful to one (such as possibly approaching death) may not be as stressful to another. The reason is because interpretation makes all of the difference. I trust you enjoy reading this blog, and I pray that it helps you as you begin to change your life and achieve great success. This is the beginning of a journey that never ends. I will present Part 4 at a later time. Talk to you soon, Gary R. Johnson.